All girls did was giggle. It didnt take a rocket scientist to understand that my thoughts werent normal for a guy. I suffered in my lonesome lust for several years without any hope of acting on it. I was closeted and, as far as I knew, the only remotely gay person around. I grew up just outside of Orlando, Florida in a small town youve only heard of if youre a regular traveler on the Florida I-75 corridor. Small, Conservative, Christian. Football was king and men were men. Add to that a healthy dose of athletic competition by shirtless, tanned teenage boys and you have a good picture of the chaste yet taunting hell I lived in. Water, water all around but not a drop to drink. Despite the athletic competitiveness of my small town I was never an athletic kid or teen. I was the nerdiest guy of the boys in my grade and there were only 30 of us. We were all pretty close having been in almost all of the same classes since preschool. And many of them ran track, swam, or played soccer. I. His eyes were shivering in fear, or was it anticipation. He was nervous and for whatever reason, I had little care. He was a boy, a thirteen year old boy. You can’t break one of those.It was dark in his bedroom. I was sure it was warm but my skin still crawled with millions of shivering bugs. All I wore was two thin pieces of cloth, one draping down from my shoulders to the second one hugging my hips and looping between my legs. I was sixteen, but still so vulnerable to my little brother in just those two cutlets of fabric, in the dark, walking slowly to his bed.His eyes were shivering.Reaching the mattress he laid so soundless on, I ran my bare fingers over the sheets I helped mom pick out to fit his new queen sized birthday bed. My fingertips coiled under the rims of them and lifted back.Father -He was sound asleep. The pill I slipped him made sure of that; or at least made sure that if he woke up, he wouldn’t remember in the morning.I stared at his massive masculine body.
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